


The Hidden Side of the Stars

by Kimory



Series: Memories of a Time to come [1]
Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Desert Island, Fluff, Humor, Kinda AU, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-03 13:06:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4102066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimory/pseuds/Kimory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peace of mind is an innocent dream, and only fools can achieve it.<br/>Inaho & Slaine are somehow enjoying their days on a desert island, an ideal setting to let go of the past and recreate the future...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Because I just want to write fluff with these two but I don't feel like completely ignoring the ending, so let's make this bittersweet, love-and-hate, and kinda AU ! ( and this is my first time writing this kind of thing '_' )
> 
> So yeah they're all lovey doveeey because I need to heal my soul ( and yours too I hope )

_~ Summer_

It was something like four in the morning and Inaho couldn't find Slaine anywhere in the tiny house they shared on the island. That wasn't particularly unsual for the whimsical blond to disappear like that when he didn't manage to sleep, or had a nightmare. He just sneaked out and wandered in the little forest, on the beach or found some rocky hill to meet with the sky and look at the abysmal ocean. 

Inaho sighed though he wasn't really annoyed, grabbed a light coat, a thin blanket and some of the snacks he cooked sometimes and saved for later and headed out. It wasn't difficult to notice Slaine's footprints on the sandy ground and he followed them, breathing deeply in the warm atmosphere of the summer night. It will probably get colder just before the sunrise. 

He had to walk through a little woody area. Here and there, pine needles on the ground suppressed any sound he could make and felt kind of funny under his naked feet. That was careless, especially for him, but he didn't mind anymore.

Reaching the beach, he noticed the blond's figure lying casually on the white sand, arms crossed under his head. He looked so calm he might be asleep and he gave no sign of realizing Inaho's presence. The brunet stood there and observed him for a while, his expression impossible to decipher. As always, Slaine looked harmless. The moonlight made him even paler than he already was and emphasized the ash-blond hues of his messy hair. Inaho learned to recognize this particular impression : Slaine was _beautiful_  ; strangely beautiful as the greyish-blue light almost made him look like a ghost.

At that moment the older male sat up and he spoke without even looking to Inaho.

« I know you're here, there's no use hiding. Come. »

Inaho didn't try to act as if he wasn't here and got out of the bushes, joining Slaine. While sitting next to him, he asked, though his usual neutral tone made it sound as if he wasn't interested in the answer.

« How did you know ? »

« I felt that someone was staring at me, and since you're the only person here besides me... »

The brunet nodded.

« That makes sense. » He paused, then stated. « You don't manage to sleep ? »

Slaine shrugged, still avoiding Inaho's eyes and staring at the ocean glowing in the moonlight.

« Nightmares. »

Hiding things to Inaho was useless though he didn't like to admit his weaknesses, even after all this time. Slaine understood that speaking to him could help sometimes, in a strange way, thanks to his talent to sort things out even if he was completely tactless. Sometimes blunt curiosity and harsh answers were better than lies. Lies feel nice when you hear them, but unlike truth, they can't live forever. They're made of thin glass... Or, no. They're more like a one way mirror. People can't see through them but _you_ can... Until the trickery's revealed, and all trust lost.

Inaho took a look at Slaine's face. The man had cried ; he had dried tears on his cheeks and his eyes were red. He was visibly tired. Slaine knew the brunet was assessing the damage but said nothing nor escaped, instead looking at him in the eyes, reminding him he couldn't do anything about this, no matter how hard he tried to reason Slaine or cared about his own way of doing things. The burden just felt lighter, but it never flew away.

« What kind of nightmares ? »  
Slaine never really answered this one. He asked anyway, hoping to get some clues.

« Eerie. Sad. Violent. Wrong. A mere reflection of my sick mind. »

There was no bitterness in his voice, nor in his movement when he gestured his arm towards the ocean. _Look at the stars, unlike me, they're beautiful. You don't have to give them anything to see how splendid they are._ That's what it said.

An expressionless Inaho complied and stared back at the ocean. It was so calm the night sky seemed to melt into it, the sea perfectly mirroring countless, brilliant stars. The horizon didn't even exist anymore. You had to imagine a thin line of mist in the distance ; otherwise, the world was infinite. It had no limits anymore. 

Inaho heard a muffled sob. Slaine tried not to cry and bite his lips, but the mere fact of summing up how he felt about his nightmares probably made him suffer. Or maybe it was the broken moon and the little red dot of Mars that made him nostalgic. Maybe both. He didn't have any reason to control his emotions anymore, and he lost the ability to, so he had to let go through more humane ways. Inaho softly grabbed Slaine's trembling hand and he made no move to remove it from the soothing grip of the brunet, sighing deeply and trying to calm down while Inaho hesitantly traced circles on his palm to bring some kind of comfort.

« You know that's wrong. » Inaho finally declared, trying to soften his usually stern tone. He didn't like when the other made himself suffer for no reason. He already paid too high of a price. Here everything could stop. The time just paused and the past didn't have to exist. « There's nothing such as complete evil... »

Slaine shook his head and answered in a voice so low Inaho almost didn't hear his shaking whisper.

« There's nothing such as complete salvation either... »

Inaho looked back at him more intently ; at his expressive eyes. The scenery was giving the teal a surreal, mesmerizing gleam, but also awfully sorrowful though he stopped crying. He leaned against Slaine and carefully wiped the tears off of his face before kissing his cheeks, then trailed down and brushed his lips against the other's. After a moment of mild surprise, Slaine closed his wet eyes in acceptance and tugged at the shoulder of Inaho's comfy shirt. Realizing Slaine lowered some of his defenses, Inaho closed the distance between them and hugged him delicately, first because he was still unused to such contacts and a bit awkward, second because the blond man looked like he could break at any moment. Like a precious, fragile little thing. Maybe it was a picture of life.

« Then I'll be your salvation. » Inaho whispered in his ear, not sure if it was the right thing to say.

« Thank you... »

They exchanged one more gentle, short kiss and no further comments were made. Slaine reported his attention to the sky, not letting Inaho get away, as if afraid all of this was in illusion that could fade at any second. Since how much time hadn't he been allowed to share some human warmth with someone ? This was way too absurd, but he already knew the _impossible_ actually tend to happen. Even if this realm was twisted somehow, he didn't care, because someone accepted to give him something, to care about him as a person. That's the kind of thing you don't know you lack until it comes to you and makes you realize you were empty before.

Inaho followed the blond's eyes and could see what he was watching with such awe : paler hues were starting to spread to the east of the horizon. At one point, Inaho wrapped the two of them in the blanket he brought and they kept watching as the dawn painted the sky in grey hues that soon turned pinkish and all kinds of golden and turquoise. Slaine's fascination was striking and Inaho could only admire this genuine side the other showed once he calmed down and ignored his demons. Such devotion and passion the brunet didn't know how to feel. What was playing under his eyes was a complete mystery which keys he didn't have. Things he couldn't understand were so rare they became likeable, and he even wondered if he still wanted to comprehend Slaine anymore. 

Inaho brushed his thoughts aside and came back to the present. Having nothing special to do was also new to him and made him react slightly differently than before. Definitely this island was changing them. Let's hope it was for the better, and not for the worse.

They soon drifted off to sleep, heads on top of one another, lulled by the low melody of the sea while the shadows of the trees protected them from the sun rising on a new day after triumphing of the night gods.


	2. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( I made a slight mistake in the previous chapter that could be confusing about Inaho's eyes so I'm clarifying it : As I assume this is somehow post-end he has only one eye, and the famous eyepatch on the left. )
> 
> My apologies for the delay ( and the mistakes ). Inspiration and motivation sadly are rare things T_T

Slaine woke up to Inaho's voice and needed a few moments to remember why he was on the beach and... cuddling with the brunet instead of sleeping peacefully in his own bed. He sighed deeply, taking in the sweet scent of the surrounding nature mixed with the faint perfume of Inaho, and looked at the younger man rested against him... Who, surprisingly, was just mumbling incoherent words in his sleep. It was pretty fun to observe how even someone so controlled when awake became expressive while dreaming. His visible closed eye twitched and his fingers quivered while a slight smile played on his lips... Well that was probably the first time he saw Inaho _smiling_ in such a genuine way. Since when was that boring brunet somehow cute ?

Slaine flustered when he recalled that they actually _kissed_. Not that there wasn't _something_ that already developed between them that they were well aware of, but this relation was platonic... Well, up until a few hours earlier. That felt troubling but it didn't seem that bad, even if Inaho was quite of a strange pick. And with the two of them lost on this faraway island... that couldn't be detrimental, right ? They found company in each other's loneliness.

As he was trying to come into terms with the novelty, he slightly frowned and shook his head to prevent himself from further worrying. He'd just get annoyed and anxious and he was tired of overthinking.

Slaine carefully laid the other down on the sand without waking him and covered him with the blanket. Then the elder male noticed the other will end up with sand in his hair and probably eye too, so he took off his jacket and put it under Inaho's head as a pillow. The sleeper huffed and curled up, probably unconsciously displeased with the sudden lack of warmth but unwilling to wake up from his dream either. _I hope this is a happy one, unlike those popping in my mind..._

Then the little box Inaho brought with him caught his attention. It looked like a lunch box and he hesitated to open it until his stomach growled. He was hungry and if he was right... He opened it with a sense of guilt, as a child who climbed on a chair to reach something hidden, and was glad to see he wasn't mistaken. Cookies. Slaine was sceptic in the beginning but it appeared that Inaho was rather good at cooking. The brunet explained he had to develop this skill because he and hs sister ended up on their own early in their life... and that it wasn't especially difficult since you just had to follow the recipe.

He contemplated the food for a while, not daring to eat it without Inaho's permission. Then a rustle was heard besides him. Inaho woke up slowly and sat, blinking and taking in his surroundings with his usual analytic way of doing things. Then he stared at Slaine, and gestured at him to bid good morning.

« You can eat them. » He added.

Slaine avoided his eye. Inaho was too serious it was disturbing. But the blond complied and muched on one cookie, then smiled weakly at how delicious it tasted. He'd never had the chance to eat such flavoured foods on Vers and didn't really remember the sweets from his childhood. That was nothing special but it still felt like being reborn everytime he got to eat something well cooked. That also painfully reminded him how many « normal » things he missed. 

The fact it was cooked by someone else very unexpectedly helped to ease this special feel of solitude he always had, this very loneliness that doesn't go away even in the most crowded places.

Satisfied, the brunet stood up, stretched and started to walk towards the ocean. Surprised he didn't even eat something, Slaine asked : « Where are you going ? »

« To the shore »

« Wait, I'm coming too ! »

Inaho stopped and held his hand to him in order to help, but Slaine just frowned and looked at him uncomprehending « … What ? »

« I'm helping you to get up. »

There was a light discomposure in Inaho's features as he tried to decipher why such a gesture didn't make his intentions clear. But maybe it was Slaine who was still dumbstruck about the fact that he could actually act nicely. He just made no effort to as he felt no difference between acts deemed « nice » and others, since it was just his way of being, but also that he didn't really feel the need to interact a lot with others. Helpful and generous actions sometimes came to him naturally, which explained why some people thought about him as _kind_. Inaho knew it was a compliment but was clueless about _how_ to receive and accept them.

Slaine reached at his hand and even after he was up, Inaho didn't let go of it. The blond looked at him with unease but the younger one said nothing. He just decided everything was better and easier this way as he accepted to recognize the strange nature of his feelings towards the blond. And Slaine was a bit shocked with the sudden change but didn't refuse it. He'd need time to accept it. Admitting he _wanted_ this kind of change meant abandonning a pride he didn't know he still had. The pride of being able to exist on his own forever. This false feeling of independance and the ability to influence the others, even so slightly. He had to let go of this illusion. 

Once they reached the rocks, Inaho let go of his hand and went to look at some stones and other small, unsignificant stuff. Slaine figured such a life could easily be boring for him, so he had to find interest in the tiniest things. He was the kind who liked having something to do, after all. 

Slaine carefully climbed some flats rocks and went up to the edge of the water, looking at his reflection in the crystal clear ocean. He seemed tired but the sweet undulations of the backwash eased his features. Then he bent as to touch the surface, but actually slipped and fell forwards.

Inaho was alerted by the splashing sound and the fact he received drops of water. He stared astonished at the blond sprawled in the water, whose face expressed a mix of incomprehension and shame as he blushed, realizing what a fool he made of himself. The brunet seemed to hesitate for a few seconds while Slaine quickly panicked before sitting there, drenched and dumbfounded. There wasn't more than 20 centimeters of water so it wasn't dangerous in anyway. Just a bit fresh. At least he was fully awake now, if that wasn't the case before.

But then Inaho's lips twitched upwards and a strange noise escaped him. A chuckle. 

Slaine frowned and just asked tonelessly though he started to smile too, not believing what he just saw.

« Did you just... Laugh ? »

Inaho nodded, trying to keep a straight face and, for once, failing and instead laughing more until Slaine joined him. It was probably the first time the brunet heard him laugh sincerely and not with one of these wry, bitter chuckles. Well this sound was very new to one another anyway and they ended up almost surprised.

Slaine frowned and declared with tears of laughter still glittering in his eyes as Inaho slightly tilted his head on the side, pensive :

« I guess none of us is used to laugh, huh ? »

« … Yeah, I guess. »

Still not out of the water, Slaine looked at the depths further away, where some fish swam lazily between rocks and seaweeds. 

« That's beautiful... »

« Soaked as you are, you might as well go for a swim and take a better look around... »

« I'd rather not. »

« Why ? »

Slaine hesitated before standing up and climbed back on the rocks before sitting next to the brunet and looking in the distance. He wondered if he wanted to speak, then chose to be honest. There was no reason for him to be paranoid after all. He couldn't be overheard and he came to realize these informations would probably be harmless in Inaho's hands.

« I almost drowned myself once... That wasn't exactly in the ocean, but... » 

He sighed. This mere revelations brought upon unpleasant and nostalgic memories. The reassurance he sometimes felt when reminded of that first time the princess saved him was gone. Now he just felt empty upon remembering this scene, upon remembering how much he owned her, which he'd never be able to repay. Which no one wanted him to repay. He got lost dwelling on a past that stopped making sense the moment he was 'dead'.

Shaking his head slowly, he looked at the brunet again.

« Besides, I don't know how to swim. »

Inaho was nice enough not to linger on what he just learned, instead pondering them and trying to remember if he read anything of that kind in the files he obtained. He was curious and wanted to know more about Slaine's reasons but he also felt slightly concerned. Whatever he was thinking seemed unpleasant. But whatever it was, it had no reason to 'exist' anymore. 

On the other hand, Slaine liked nature so seeing more of it could be uplifting...

« You can learn, but if you don't want to, there's no need to force yourself. However there's not very deep and there are no currents in this area. You can just walk in the water and take a look without endangering yourself »

« … Thanks, but... no. » He looked away. « Let's go home. »

Inaho was curious and wanted to know some more but he also realized the blond could catch a cold. The warm atmosphere was useless against damp clothes, and salty water was a very uncomfortable thing. What drew his attention was that Slaine actually called the tiny building _« home »_ and it felt inexplicably reassuring. It was the first time he heard him say that and the brunet knew enough to tell it meant something.

The older male too realized his words translated his thought beyond his own expectations. He stood still for a while. A very, very sad smile painted itself on his lips and he gasped for air as he was about to cry though no sound crossed his lips. The word _home_ felt very odd to him. Because he never believed he'd find one. Thinking about it he probably wouldn't have called this island a home. The word came out nonetheless, shaping a new, discreet sense of belonging he wasn't aware of. In the end, he was probably afraid to find it. A war wasn't enough to earn him that, and yet he was finally there ? Unbelievable.

Inaho slowly nodded his head in acknowledgment and the ruckus going on in the other's head was too visible for him to miss. Slaine repeated the words one more time, as if he wanted to make sure he actually wanted to voice them.

« Yeah, let's go home. »

 

 

 

> _Words left unsaid,  
>  As children of weary thoughts._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The awkwardness is high in this one but I wanted to do this so much ! The end is quite "brutal" but it came to me naturally and I didn't want to add anything after I felt there was no need to say anything more.
> 
> Sorry for those who followed Wish Upon a Blackstar, I'm not completely abandonning it but it will probably stay on hiatus for an undefined period because I need to really work on the plot. I also want to give a try to other ideas ( still A/Z though :D ) that may fit me more if I gather enough motivation to work on these properly !

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be writing Wish Upon a Blackstar but I had this headcanon that wouldn't leave my head.... I'll probably add more of that kind when I won't have time to focus properly on WUaB ( or have a writer's block on it, which may be quite recurrent given I lack courage so much T_T )


End file.
